There is a belief that suffering is righteous.
Suffering is only a vehicle for remorse and change. Yes, our actions can bring suffering, but staying in suffering doesn’t bring relief or a gold star. Staying in suffering usually happens because:
- A person believes they cannot change.
- A child is taught that they are not worth the effort to live in joy, and they grow up believing it is true.
- An individual uses their suffering to control or manipulate others.
- A person is in a physical or psychological situation that is beyond their control.
Have you tried to move out of suffering before, only to fall back into misery? That is life, suffering. But we are sent here to grow, not be destroyed by suffering.
If you believe you cannot change, ask yourself what it would be like if you could change. What needs would be met that are not being met if I was no longer suffering? What is the smallest step you could take? Take it today.
If you have been taught that you are not worth the effort to create a joyful daily life, when did it start? Is it true? Can you prove, 100% it is true? Let me answer that for you. NO. You are a child of the Most High God, the Creator of All. Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother created you. Look back at that negative memory and declare, “Who are YOU to tell Me that I am NOT worth it? I am a CHILD OF GOD. Where is your authority? Where is your glory? I am A DAUGHTER, A SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD.” Now feel that. This is truth.
If you have used your suffering to manipulate people. Stop and ask yourself, “What am I lacking that I feel this is the way to get what I want?” Do you lack basic trust in your relationships or childhood? If you ever want to have lasting relationships or joy, you must change your patterns. If you are being manipulated I beg you to define in your mind the exact needs that are not being met. What can you do for yourself? Only trust the manipulator to fulfill the patterns they have completed in the past. Trust yourself to know what you need and what you will no longer tolerate. Define healthy boundaries for yourself and others will learn from how you treat yourself.
However if you are in a situation that is physically or emotionally beyond your control. My heart breaks for you. We feel trapped. Here are some small suggestions beyond seeking professional help. (And I highly suggest you reach out to someone that can help you take steps.)
Pray. Listen. Follow the impressions you receive.
I’ve seen miracles with this formula myself. I have felt hopelessly trapped for decades, and it wasn’t until I took small guided heavenly steps that I was able to move out of fear.
It is kind to move forward with the intent to change.
Be as kind to yourself as you can. Every single day.
Let God bring you change and blessings.
Allow miracles to come.
Suffer only to the amount that it brings you to a better place.
Then let Christ show you a better way.
Joy.
The marriage of your sorrow and happiness.
Smile.
It is all possible for you.
“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:11–12).