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Your Life is NOT “Spent”

Healing in His Wings
“Healing in His Wings” – C. Fausett – 2019
11 And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.
12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.  Rom. 13:11-12

The time is not “spent” there is time to fill your life with light and love.  As we rush from task to task spending money, time, and energy. Know that there is the exact amount of time you require to wrap your life in light and love. 

When you consciously bring light and love into your life the cacophony of daily activity becomes a symphony.  Each instrument is brought into tune and there is harmony. Harmony to me is like the experience of Grace in one’s life.  This is a beautiful power beyond our own ability or strength that enables greater success than we could ever achieve on our own. 

When you feel like you’ve spent your energy, youth, health, and all that remains is the pressing weight of responsibilities, pain, fatigue, and emptiness this is when light and love can shine the brightest.  However it is at this time when light and love seem unattainable. What could possibly crack open your empty hollow shell to allow light and love into your being?  

It is hope and the promise of change.  Just because daily life is intolerable does not mean that it must be your ever after reality.  Just by reading this and opening your thoughts to the idea of a different existence you are taking the first small step.  

The idea is beautiful yet scary to many . . . change.  What if life gets worse? This is the first question many ask.  We are pre-programmed for survival. Because of this we automatically imagine failure, more work, or any number of difficult situations that make us believe that we’d be better off to just continue in our known reality.  Because the unknown, which has not occurred, could be our destruction. In our mind this seems to be logical, but it is not. We are already destroying ourselves, pressed down by our current expenditure of life force, energy, money, time . . . the list never ends.  So change is required for survival.  

But there is one thing that is easy to forget when considering change.  You are not to do all the heavy lifting of change by yourself. This is where hope enters and it makes all the difference.  Hope is obtained from somewhere. Where? Is it found in the darkness of temporary success or sating of desires? Hope goes beyond the temporary.  Hope is found in the knowledge that miracles are real and that God is blessing you. Hope is found in the knowledge that this temporary life is a part of something much larger, your existence as a divine being.  

Consider allowing yourself to believe that you are loved by a Father in Heaven.  Consider that He is placing opportunities and blessings in your path so that you can see the good even in difficult situations.  

For example:  When my sons were young our family was struggling in every way possible.  It was a very dark time and I was not certain that we would survive. In fact I could not see beyond my health, marital, financial, and issues of faith.  It was such a dark time that I consciously turned off my emotions so I could function for my sons. I became nothing but a shell. One night I prayed without hope, desperately giving all my hurt and dreams to Jesus.  I couldn’t handle life, I was barely surviving. So I gave it all to Him, even my dreams. At the time I didn’t really believe that God would concern Himself with my beautiful aspirations that seemed so out of reach. I thought God’s job was to keep us on track so that we didn’t screw our lives up too much.  It was the next day when I began to understand in my mind that He would bless us as much as we allow. A tiny significant miracle occurred. My husband hugged me. It was a small amount of love and light. When this occurred, I didn’t push away. From that moment on I practiced saying yes to the blessings that God put in my path.  Next came the water balloon fight. It was a crack in the tight band of darkness that had surrounded our home.  I accepted the love and light this brought. Next was the dream art show at the BYU Museum of Art. For 3 months I worked intensely.  This work was indeed a miracle on many levels. I said yes to the exhibit, though it was very difficult to complete the work on time with marital issues and financial problems.  

All your problems are temporary.  All of them. Including physical issues like my hearing loss.  It has been a challenge all my life. I have struggled to feel loved or included.  But I know that life is part of a much larger “game plan.” God wants me and you to learn as much as possible in this life.  In order to learn we must experience hard things and grow. As we embrace the hard things and consistently choose to see the love God has for us in trials, we will be filled with such love and light that God’s power will be a tremendous force for good through us.  

No longer will you be pressed down by your burdens, but you will find reasons to smile.  It will become easier to breathe. Your responsibilities will not magically evaporate. However, you will become a new person.  And this person will be filled with joy, a combination of strength and weakness, dark times and light . . . . and always true and genuine love. 

Now is the time to welcome in small and beautiful changes that are presented before you, found in your path.  As you do this pray and give God your hurt and dreams. Then don’t push away the blessings start to come. Accept the changes.  Smile. Stand up straight. Breathe deeply.  

You are loved.  

You are a being of light. 

I am so excited to see you step forward into the light and truly live.  

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How to Parent and Paint

“I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.”

― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

The most essential thing is to see your divine destiny.

As a parent you have the opportunity to show your child how to be a creator.  However he or she must understand that they are the most important creation of all your masterpieces.  Without this as a foundation, you will produce beautiful art, but some how it will feel empty. 

Over the past 21 years these are the core steps I have found as a parenting artist. 

Here are the 7 Steps to Parenting and Painting. 

How to parent and paint

  1. Know what is most important to you. You must be at the center of the wheel of your life. Or all will spin into chaos.  You must know what you stand for and plant yourself in this place of truth.
  2. Understand that you are a creator. When you create daily, you honor yourself and your family.  This is vital to understand what you are and to teach this through your example to your children.
  3. Know the purpose of your daily creation. The creation of your life as a work of art and your art as a product of your true life/living.
  4. Strive forward each day, taking the next best step even when life’s tasks seem like an insurmountable Everest.  You have with in you the ability to break up all tasks into bite sized pieces and conquer. 
  5. Take the time to see your life, your creation in all it’s parts. Family, home, finance, responsibilities, self care, and art.  See lack, skills, needs, and desires.  Clarify all aspects in your mind and on paper.
  6. As you identify these parts pray about the most essential tasks for each area.
    Pray and do the next best step with gratitude and love for your work and abilities.
  7. Choose to be at peace.  We cannot control all, but we can select our emotions and beliefs, if we are conscious. 

These steps work for all forms of creation.  You may be hoping to finish your first masterpiece, or your MBA.  Both are creations.  Any achievement can be approached as a work of art and executed in the style of the creator.  Are you a Michelangelo or a Picasso?  Or perhaps you are an Einstein or Hawking? 

It doesn’t matter what you excel at as long as you teach your child what it means to be the creator of their own life.     

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What’s in Your Trunk? Part 2 of the Root of Fear series.

If your choices are rooted in fear what kind of habits will you have?  These habitual actions, that seem to be second nature produce and feed the results or fruit that you reap everyday.  

If I am afraid of my husband’s criticism then I will not want to be around him. I will chose self isolation instead of connection.  And if this is the case, how can that bring my marriage or family closer together? It doesn’t, my fear becomes the wedge that drives us apart.   

But if I am honest about my reactions and examine the why both him and I are the way we are, then I can actually choose my reactions instead of following the Fear Protocol.  

What I call Fear Protocol is essentially fight or flight response.  It is instinctual. There is no If/Then thought process.  In fact there is no real conscious thought.  

If I stop the habitual patterns.  Just stop and think about the cycle I have perpetuated then I can choose my responses.

About two years ago I received a pattern interrupt that gave me a glimpse of what I had been perpetuating and how I’d been blaming the results on others in my life.  Yes, they are responsible for their addictions, their habits, their choices. But I am responsible for my choices. And the important thing is to make conscious choices.  Are you aware of what your responses are to the crazy makers, the addicts, the frienemies, the toxic family members? There will be people, jobs, relationships, or seemingly hopeless situations in your life that most people automatically handle with a flight or fight response.  

Once I could see that I was part of the problem and accepted responsibility for my part of the equation then I could examine all the possible responses and select what I wanted.  

For years my response to anyone who was harsh toward me was to just take it and avoid them.  I became bitter and negative, telling others how horrid a person was, never addressing the offense head on.  Never talking directly to that hurtful individual, coworker, in-law, or neighbor etc.

What was the cost of this habit?   

I felt weak.  I believed I was weak and could not resolve anything and if I tried that it would only make things worse.  I felt ineffectual in my work, relationships, efforts to create artwork, in all things I felt – LESS.  Less than everyone else that could speak and address the inevitable hurt that humans face. Because I wasn’t good enough to ask for what I wanted and get it.  

Did I want respect.  You bet. Did I believe I could have it.  No fricken way.

So I responded with fear based habits that put me directly into the hole that each hurtful person that I ran across wanted me to exist in – because if I was in this hole of worthlessness – then somehow they were better.  This was of course a lie. Just as it was a lie that I had to live in fear. Just as it was a lie that I was worthless. Sometimes you reach a point where you must say NO. No to worthlessness, no to bitterness, and no to fear.

Sure it caused issues when I didn’t let a certain extended family member spread misinformation about me behind my back.  But I could stand up straighter and respect myself. And I guarantee that if you respect yourself others are 100% more likely to respect you.   

Were there F words and all sorts awful accusations thrown at me when I suggested changes in our finances.  Yes.  But I had done my research, I knew it was accurate and I respected myself enough to be brave open my mouth and rock the boat a little.

So today stop.  Be still. Ask yourself, “What fear based habit is running my life?”  Then ask yourself what that cost has been. Are you willing to continue paying the price?  Or are you willing to be brave and take a small step forward. Just one action. Then observe the results.  Feel the respect, peace, self worth, the good example you are setting for your children, the faith you are demonstrating in your higher power.  Breathe in the payback of being brave. Rock the boat a little, who knows where you will be in a month, a year if you choose your path instead of reacting in fear.  You know exactly where you will be if you continue to live in fear. You will be right where you are now. The only question is, are you willing to take a look at your life and accept responsibility for your actions.  

The time has come to clear out your trunk.  Whether it is the trunk connected to your roots, your beliefs – or your metaphorical vehicle for life.  Clear out that trunk and make sure you are toting around only the habits you chose. For this is your one life, how will you live it?

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“The Year That Fear Died and Love Danced on it’s Grave” 

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The Root of Fear

What is the Root of Fear?

We strive our whole lives to overcome fear.  

 

Fear of repercussions in relationships.

Fear of never being enough.

Fear of failure.

Fear of pain, both physical and emotional.

Fear of humiliation.

Fear of being alone.

 

There are so many fears that it’s a wonder we can even function.

 

I’ve been asked how do you overcome fear?  Part of me wants to say, “Hell if I know.”  Because it’s scary to uncover fears and most people don’t really want to change.  But the other part wants to say, “If you are willing to do the work, it can be done.”

 

You must be willing to examine your life.  Fears come from somewhere. From society, from the people around us, and from our experiences.  

 

The first step is to look at the root of your fears.  Many fears originate from childhood. When I was a young I woke up one night to find a hole punched in the bathroom door.  Dad had been so stressed from trying to provide for the family that he resorted to physically damaging himself and the doors of our house.  Even at this young age I knew that one did not bother Dad, wake up Dad, or talk to Dad when he was like this. He was such a tight wire, that none of us wanted to disappoint him.  I worried about him, even as a child, wondering if he would make it sometimes. He was a good father and was doing the best he knew how. Even so I picked up a legion of fears, that didn’t reflect reality.

 

From this time came the root of:  Fear of hard work, Fear of making money, Fear of upsetting people, Fear of talking about problems, Fear of poverty etc.  With each fear I have asked myself, “what has been the outcome of this fear?”  

 

Fear of talking about problems has taken a huge toll on my own family.  When my husband started drinking, I was so petrified by fear of what might happen should I talk with him – that I pretended that it was not happening for 13 years.  When my two sons battled porn addiction, we did not talk about it for 5 years.  But then fear multiplied the pain each of us was experiencing. My marriage felt like a prison, my sons had depression and eating issues, my husband didn’t really want to be a part of the family.  There is always a choice, but at that time the choice became clear to me. Face the fears or choose the destruction of my family.

 

To summarize:

I found the root. (Fear of talking about problems.)

Examined the cost. (The destruction of my precious sons and walking on eggshells for the rest of my life.)

Decided on a new belief.  (For me it became: I can do all things through Christ.)

Took the first step.  (Found the greatness in my husband and sons under layers of addiction.  Then decided that I had to show them change, as well as communicating change.)

 

I am so glad I did.  

 

In the past two years I have overcome multiple fears.  It has been a time packed with changes. These have not been easy changes.  It has hands down been the hardest and best two years of my life. The outcome has been that my family and I are happier and more unified than we have ever been.  Yes, we still have problems. But now we have better patterns and tools to address these issues.

For each of you that have been crippled by fear, be still.  Place all fear, mistrust, hopelessness, shame, and betrayal in a holding cell for a moment.  Be kind and merciful with yourself. Ask yourself what is the next best step is for you, for your family, for your one life.  Then trust your intuition. You know yourself and your circumstances better than anyone. What can you do to infuse your life with love?  

 

Then trust and act.

 

You’ve got this.  

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Thorns and Beauty

These are Peace roses, beautiful with killer thorns. Honestly the most lovely things are not without flaws.
 
That is why I created Breakthrough Yoga which functions perfectly a part of The Course of Wisdom.  Our beings need harmony.  In order to do this we must acknowledge the thorns, but see the roses.  All of us have beliefs, some support us and our journey, while others destroy any hope of dreams.  And as these are called Peace roses, peace cannot truly be known unless one has experienced the Pain.
 
When one can let go of internal beliefs like:
 
I’ll never be enough
I don’t have what it takes
If I change I’ll destroy my family
No one will love the real me
Nothing will ever change, why try
 
Then we dare to try something different, to be brave and think:
 
I was created to live my life
I have what it takes to fulfill my mission
I am somebody and I am successful
The real me is a star that’s already shining
Change is inevitable, and I choose the most beautiful changes for my life now
 
Then action follows.  We peel back the layers of years of self abuse, codependency, hate, and we see possibilities.
 
This leads to:
 
more kindness to ourselves and others
faith in something greater than us and the hell we have been through
love that is unconditional
bravery to leap into our dreams
hope that we can heal
 
I have seen miracles happen over and over, lives that had fallen apart, mended with more beauty than ever before.
 
Envision for yourself a simply stunning life, and make it happen.
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Spiritual Gardens

This image is from my garden.  It is in fact garlic blossoms that spring forth as the garlic goes to seed.  I find them fascinating.  It resembles a Dr. Seuss plant.  I love it so much that for three years I have not harvested the garlic because I want to see the stalks going to seed again. 

Gardens tend to be places where people are more able to connect to peace, calm, and even spiritual guidance. God made beauty on this earth because it was necessary.

He knew we would need to sync with the slower yet tenacious growth of the essence of life. Then when in nature the optimism that is true, not the hurried rush imitating “real life”, would be shown.  This contrast can possibly reset our perspective, and lead us to happiness.

Their are quite a few gardens and wilderness places in religious writ.  Just for fun, look it up!

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Course of Wisdom : The Beginning

It happened the day before the Freedom Festival.  In fact, and I was on the way to have my eyelashes filled.  All of this was so ordinary.  As usual when driving I assess my beliefs and emotional state.  Immediately I had a negative belief that popped up, quite forcefully. 
 
NB:  “I hate my stomach.”
 
What?  Where did that come from?  When I started doing the steps of Breakthrough Therapy I found that it originated from middle school pre-algebra.  I remember sitting so carefully trying to not be noticed, holding in my gut so tight.  I looked down at my stomach and thought, “I hate you.”
 
We talk to our body all the time.  Usually it is with hate and disgust.  There I was at most a size six, and I hated my own guts.  If I couldn’t love myself then, how could I through three 50 lb pregnancy weight gains, and any physical development past 40. 
 
I continued the breakthrough and learned:
 
1) Satan wanted to destroy my body
2) God designed me perfectly for what I needed to learn on Earth
3) That I have treated my core terribly
4) That I honestly love my stomach, gut, extra tire, or core
 
How did I go from hate to love?
 
I realized what our core really is:
 
1) It is a spiritual guidance system.  Have you ever heard someone say, “I felt it in my gut,” or “Something about it made me feel queasy.”  If you hate your gut, how can you trust your gut?
2) It is a filter system.  Everything passes through our core, it saves our lives daily sorting out all harmful elements and even providing fat to encapsulate the toxins.  A sure sign of love is cellulite that protects our organs, so we can continue to function no matter the mental and physical abuse that we dump on ourselves.
3) It is the source of energy for our entire life.  It processes all nutrients and gifts us with the ability to do everything we do.
4) It creates life:  Women and men both have the components to create life.  This amazing ability, at what ever state (age, malfunction, etc) especially needs love.  Our society is very twisted about this gift.
 
Essentially our gut is the core of our being.  Physically and Spiritually it is the center of each life.  How can we hate that?  And if we do, we end up stuffing our intuition with food instead of listening, or treating our core as disgusting or an object.  Revere your core, treat it’s powers with respect and care. 
 
From that very ordinary moment, driving, I have loved my core.  For the first time since pre-algebra, I loved the core of who I am.  This has led, to me listening to my core, taking care of my core, and talking to my core.
 
No longer do I think, “I hate you,” instead I say out loud, “I love you.  I am sorry for abusing you. What do you really want and need?” and “thank you for taking care of me.”
 
Three days after this experience I told my core, “I am listening to you now.”  The utterly relieved and sarcastic response I received back was, “Finally, it’s about time.”   
 
Isn’t it about time we listen?  Some say the core is the center of all medical and mental issues, I say if it is the problem it can also be the center of all healing.
 
 
Follow me on this journey.  I’ll be detailing how to listen, receive, and honor the core of who you are.